It turns out, that in the mummy savvy department, I am sorely lacking.
Yesterday, I took my 4 kids out to meet a friend at the local park for a picnic and play. It was a fairly big deal - the first time I'd ever taken all of them out for the park experience. I spent all morning packing up the picnic lunch, filling the water bottles and locating suncream and hats for everyone. I also packed lots of wipes, nappies and a ball to play with. I gave myself lots of time so I wouldn't run late or stress out, and right on time, we were on our way.
Because the park was surrounded by metered 1 hour parking, I parked the car a couple of streets away. Maybe my savvy sense should have pricked up at this point. Navigate a 10 minute walk with children, that included crossing busy roads? Really?
But no. There was no such sense at this point. I unloaded the four of them, applied suncream and hats to the big kids as they climbed out of the car and buckled the twins into their pram. Then I loaded the nappy and picnic bags on and we were ready. So far, I thought, I was all over mummy savvy.
The Picnic Food
So I forgot to pack the
picnic food. It was at home, keeping cool in the fridge. While Mr B cried in disappointment, I thought about the options.
There was no local shop nearby, and no way was I reloading the car and heading home. Instead I rang the local superhero - Mr Laney, who
saved the day by agreeing to collect the food from home and drop it to the park. Crisis averted.
Toilet Fiasco #1
With that fire put out, we carried on. A mere 2 minutes into our walk, Miss P needed a wee. I
begged her to hold on until we got to the park, which I knew had public toilets.
But this child had form for wetting herself in public. My anxiety reached new heights
as I glanced around the busy main road, that offered no shelter for us to discretely
go about our business. Then I had visions of us crossing the busy road with Miss
P wetting herself mid-crossing...no thank you. After trying to convince her to wear
one of the babies' nappies (which she understandably refused), I parked the
pram, and we chanced it behind a tree.
Road Crossing Behaviour
We continued on our way, but my anxiety at this point hadn't
really settled. It turns out that commandeering two small children and a huge
pram next to a busy intersection containing multi-lane
traffic is pretty unnerving. I already
wanted to go home. But then came my next doozy. As we crossed, with Mr B and
Miss P holding onto each side of the pram, the ball popped out of the picnic
bag and onto the road. Then I made a really bad decision. You'll judge me for this one - and I
don't blame you. As the ball bounced
beside me, I made the split second decision to take both my hands off the
pram to grab for it, leaving my two big kids holding onto the pram, in the middle of the crossing. In the kerfuffle, a lady that was crossing with us grabbed hold of the handle bar, probably wondering what the f@*k I
was doing, taking my hands and eyes off a moving pram with two small children
attached. Right beside a major intersection. I tried to laugh it off. Inside I
gave myself a hammering. Mummy savvy? Not here, my friends.
Kid Watching
After a big play and
picnic lunch, it was time for the now-restless twins to have a wonder around. Now, I've been
to the park with the twins before, and found it quite easy to watch them both
toddle about, exploring their surroundings. But trying to do this while manning
two other kids and having a conversation with my friend was really difficult. Both
babies were fast and curious, and with both of them heading in different
directions, it was really hard to keep track of them. I wish I was one of those cool, relaxed mums who could just chill and let the kids do their thang. But it turns out I'm not. Anxiety: dizzying heights.
Toilet Fiasco #2
Then Miss P announced to the playground that she needed a
poo. Gah!! Everytime we're out, this child wants a poo! So I packed the twins
back up into their pram and left them and Mr B with my friend. I took Miss P to
the skankiest hellhole set of toilets I've ever seen public toilets, and
let her get on with it. I stood outside the only working cubicle, brushing at
little shit-flies buzzing around. Please get me home, I prayed to the rotting
ceiling of the toilet block. How long
does your child take to do a number 2? Mine takes ages. We were there
for 15 minutes. In the end, I was begging her to hurry up. Then the blasted
thing wouldn't flush away. A fairly respectable-looking lady was waiting to use
the loo, and I had to let her use the toilet that still had Miss P's log in
the bottom of it. 'At least you know it came from someone cute!' I said, trying
to be all charming.
Packing-up Time Relief. Oh, the Relief
Thankfully, by the time we got back to the playground, it was time to pack up. I couldn't get us out of
there fast enough. And by that I mean, I really couldn't get us out of there fast at all. The twins were safely contained in the pram, but the big kids were tired
and hot, which meant the walk (and road crossing) back to the car was long,
tiresome and just really chuffing painful. When the car finally came into
view, it was like an oasis in the desert. Only I couldn't run to it because
of the snail-paced children I was with.
A few minutes later, we were home. I got the tired twins into
their beds which rendered them contained and quiet, and put the big kids in the
bath - contained and clean. I made a coffee and felt like I'd just been in a
marathon.
Here are the activities we will be doing as a family for
the next 6 to 9 months:
Watching DVDs
Reading books
Playing indoor hide and seek
Colouring in
Making cubby houses
Playing board games
Building Lego
Family outings = highly overrated.
Please tell me you've had some crap mummy moments too!?! Ever had one of those days where it was all just ridiculously hard? Being to any disgusting toilets recently?
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