Thursday, 2 April 2015

Short but interesting. Maybe.

random observations about life
image via Instagram

A bit of a random collection this week. Because sometimes, as well as thinking about the kids and the logistics of getting to the shops for milk, or how I'm going to be late for the school run yet again, or how to convince Miss P that she needs to wear shoes that fit, or how I've completely forgotten to prepare Mr B's school lunch as we head out the door......sometimes other stuff goes on in my life. I'm well-rounded like that.
Stuff like:

Emma Wiggle

I've realised that it's possible that I have the tinsiest, ever-so-small, really, really tiny girl-crush on this lady. She's just ticks all the boxes! The girl is a great dancer, hardly cheesy at all, an excellent role model for little girls, and she plays the drums!! I don't even mind that she wears a wig these days, probably because they realised that dyeing her hair red all the time was just way too much trouble, and kind of ruining her locks. What's not to love?? They could have gone with someone way, way wrong for the Yellow skivvy gig, and the first female Wiggle,  but they got it right.Yes, we watch The Wiggles A LOT in our house. I think about them way too much. Sometimes I just sit back and make up stuff about what I'm watching. In between all my own singing and dancing of course. Best that I don't say what I really think about the Blue Wiggle though. I have made up loads about him.

Men and their ways

This week, I was lucky enough to see two men on different occasions have a wee in the street. Both in broad daylight.  It's that tell-tale sign of a male with his back to the street that draws me in. The first one was at the traffic lights, I was in my car. I watched him finish off, turn back towards the street while he pulled his zipper up and then he pressed the pedestrian button. Niiiice......I really enjoyed thinking about all the pedestrian crossing buttons I've pressed in my life and how I've never washed my hands afterwards. Two days later I saw another tell-tale sign. This one must have been quite desperate, because he'd stopped his taxi almost in the middle of the road. I actually had to wait behind him while he hurried back into his car and took off. Again, it was great to visualise those hands exchanging money and credit cards with passengers all night. And then I thought, what the hell?! If I need a wee in public and can't find a toilet, I have to HOLD IT IN. Sometimes for ages and ages. I have never decided just to have a piss in public because I'm desperate.

random obervations about life

The day I went right off Hoisin sauce 

Yesterday, I was lucky enough to get to the shops on my own for a few groceries. I picked up a bottle of Hoisin sauce and brought it in close to read the label. The next 3 seconds happened in very slow motion. First, I felt my feet get suddenly wet. Then, I heard sauce glooping out of the bottle. Then I realised, 'this sauce bottle doesn't have a bottom'. And then I realised the glooping was happening. All. Over. Me. And by the time I did all this processing (I'm very tired, remember), the bottle had emptied over me completely and I was covered in sticky, stinky Hoisin sauce. Which tastes and smells great when you're cooking, but not when you're wearing it. In the middle of the supermarket.
I stood there for a minute, wondering what to do. I was soaked. The stuff was in my shoes, squelching away. I found a staff member, who helpfully got me some paper towels, which didn't help me in the slightest. Then, seeing the mess I was in, she suggested I go see the Service Desk, because 'my clothes might be ruined'. I skulked off in my stinky mess to find someone who was ready to fall over themselves in apology. I won't lie, I was thinking, 'payout please.' Or at least a free bottle of Hoisin sauce. Long story short, I walked out of there with a couple of extra Dominoes. By the time the message had got to the manager about my situation, I was really embarrassed about causing such a fuss, and almost gratefully accepted that the best they could offer was a refund on any dry-cleaning I needed. I got out of there as fast as my stinking, squelching shoes could carry me. I couldn't help thinking that someone who was better with being assertive could have kicked off quite effectively. But I just didn't have it in me.

random observations about life

The Really Bad Coffee

The other day I was at a training event for work and decided to tempt fate by trying a coffee from somewhere I didn't know. I should have guessed from the sniff test that it was going to go horribly wrong. I took a whiff, and then, against all my judgement and knowledge about what a decent coffee should smell like, I took a sip. GAG. It was the worst thing I've ever tasted. Ever. In my mouth. You know when you use your coffee machine with a pod that's already been used, because you forgot to put the new one in? And it smells awful, so you quickly pour it down the sink and try to un-smell it?Well this coffee tasted like the smell of that. I pushed myself to take another sip, willing myself to get through it for the sake of the caffeine, but I was easily defeated. Two sips later and I pushed it aside, with the revolting aftertaste in my  mouth. It stayed in there for the next 8 hours. Never again. Never again.

So, the question is, what do you think about Emma Wiggle? And what would you have done about the Hoisin sauce incident if you were me??? Got any random stories of your own from this week?

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